1,000 (or thereabouts) of my words theoretically ended up in front of Davie Greig at the weekend.

In fact, I realise as I write this that I shouldn't say any more than that as it's all top top top super secret.

But if you have any retrospective luck to spare, please send them to my limp words. 

There weren't enough of them to qualify for being a Play Pie and a Pint. Which I suppose is a nicer get out than the nature of the words just being RUBBISH.

But a five minute version of the PPP script distilled to its very essence cannot be too short. 

I wonder what (if anything) he'll say.

"Nice try but it's RUBBISH."

"Were you even trying? As you can't tell."

"Poor thing. I hope you have paid employment to supplement these lame efforts."

"You seem to be able to write a sentence with an approximately correct structure. But I don't think playwriting is for you. How's about you get a job in - hmmm - I don't know, something that doesn't need much talent. How about MARKETING???"

"Please try harder."

"I think there's been a mistake."

"N.B. NTS - this is a shopping list, not a play."

Well. We'll see.