I have this friend staying at the moment while she has the ancient maps ripped off her bathroom walls and fine new units and elegant tiles installed in their place.

And she's been an angel as she's cooked me tea and replaced various light bulbs which had given up the ghost but lain unreplaced as I never go to a lightbulb shop. This morning, she was talking about sweeping my living room floor as she's worried about all the sand she's been treading in. I explained that as it was also thick with dust, I should probably do it. And indeed I would. Any day now.

But of course I haven't really seen her as I've been rehearsing for the past couple of nights and shall be so again tonight. We passed fleetingly this morning as she returned from her dog walk and I was running round in my tights. I had anticipated that she'd be startled and perhaps a little scared by my unruly way of life. And this morning she offered "I don't think you need a flat as you only come home to sleep. You just need a room in a B&B. You'd save a fortune - and you'd get breakfast." Perhaps there is some wisdom in this.