My top ten embarrassing moments

10. Anything involving being 14 and lurking round the corner of various school buildings lying in wait for my beloved English teacher, Mr McKenzie. And then giggling like a fool when he finally appeared.

9. The DJ calling out “hey there, zebra legs” when I walked into a school disco dressed in a black and white striped lycra mini skirt paired with scarlet tights and a scarlet top which left little to any 15 year old onlooker’s imagination. Although this to be fair was a mixture of abject shame and secret delight that now I was worthy of recognition, albeit by a shadowy school disco DJ. Hindsight suggests I was wrong to feel secret delight.

8. Cleverly telling the Nottingham Herald and Post that I fancied my fellow Young Enterprisee, Phillip, when I was interviewed to boost sales of our tie-dyed T-shirts. And arriving at the Royal Ordnance factory to see blown-up photocopies of the article scored through with yellow highlighter adorning all the doors.

7. Picking “Maybe This Time” as an audition song for some musical or other at university. Because I do sound much like Liza Minnelli.

6. Charmingly advancing on the managing director in my first agency with my hand pro-offered, saying it was a pleasure to meet him and I was Claire. “I know,” he observed reasonably, “I interviewed you”.

5. Thinking it was a good idea to dress up as Miss Santa for the office Christmas party and distribute gifts to staff and clients alike. And not noticing the male contingent of the party clustering under the (open) spiral staircase as I descended. (But in my gym knickers, I had the last laugh.)

4. Drunkenly begging an esteemed Planning Director for a job at a midsummer awards do. (Still, just under two years later, it paid off.)

3. Flashing my hold-ups to the Managing Director as I stood up to help him fix the photocopier and my dress flew open.

2. Being ‘disconnected’ after ten minutes of blood giving because my rare blood group blood wasn’t streaming from my body fast enough. And then bursting into sobbing tears of rejection in the coffee area. God bless my mother for her hanky and stoic lack of embarrassment.

1. The blog disaster.

To all the people that I have ever embarrassed, I humbly seek forgiveness.