I've got a wonderful new holiday wardrobe.

It consists of:

Some lovely polyester trousers

Three diamond-patterned viscose blouses

Twenty white shirts, mostly from the 1970s and 80s

A couple of lovely period-style evening dress waistcoasts

A slightly too small 1920s velvet evening dress. I'll wear it with a vest underneath for modesty

A pair of well-used ballet shoes

An overlarge midway sludge green fleecey housecoat for chilly nights

Several slightly moth-eaten but still stylish fox furs

Some corduroy plus fours which have seen better days but if I wear them with colourful pants, they'll seem quite visionary

An adorable red bonnet with a jaunty green feather

Seventeen pairs of unusual shoes, again mostly from the 1970s and 80s. They're not all pairs but that only adds to their charm

A delicately embroidered cotton nightdress

Three rare silk kimonos

Two nurses' uniforms which I thought could come in handy if I had to suddenly go to a uniform party

An amazing pair of thigh-high black boots that almost look like waders

A very smart 1940s khaki soldier's uniform

A really handy fur cat suit which is very of the moment given the popularity of onesies

And a cardboard crocodile's head.

What riches.

I shall be the finest dressed visitor the South of Spain has ever seen.

Thanks, Home Street.



An unusual jester's outfit made from multi-coloured velvet