Exciting times at the bus stop this morning. Crossing the road to reach the bus stop, I thought I saw The Man (Not) At The Bus Stop with heavily gelled hair (which was unusual) and a suitcase (even more unusual) trying also to cross the road, not at the crossing (exceedingly unusual). I crossed in safety and waited. But he did not appear. A little peculiar.

Then I realised it was not The Man at all as The Man approached the bus stop without heavily gelled hair and proceeded to make his usual ambling circuit of the pavement as we waited. But all of a sudden, he set off in the wrong direction, back towards his abode. Forgotten something. How many times have I done this? I felt deep sympathy as the minutes before the bus came ticked down.

The bus approached. I dawdled as best I could clambering aboard. And hooray! There He is in the distance rushing towards the bus. With a big bag! And He and I went on our usual way. All is well that ends well, as they say.

Much more importantly, I hear my friend Mr Neill has not been eaten by monkeys and is safely back amongst the piranha free pavements of Edinburgh. Welcome back, sir.