She didn't call back. Why ever would she? I don't suppose Adam House has the same lure as the Royal Court. Bit like Alan Rickman never returned my call when I gave him first dibs on Caesar last summer.

So I waited a week.

I waited until approx the same time a week later, in fact.

And I called.

She answered. And this time I was marginally more ready but I still stuttered like a school girl.

"I'm so sorry," she said, charmingly. "I meant to call you back but I've had such a busy week. It all went a bit nuts as we've just heard that one of my shows is getting the South Bank Award."

"Goodness, don't worry, I know what it's like," I said. "I was pouring my life's blood into presenting at the IPA Scotland's Foundation Certificate training event this week and it really saps your strength."

Actually, I said:

"Oh my goodness, that's wonderful news. Was it Let The Right One In? Sounds like the London transfer has been going really well. I saw it in Dundee and loved it (thank you, FOMO.)..." And I spoke for a while about how inventive and smart and beautiful it was.

"Oh," and she sounded genuinely pleased, "you liked it? I'm so pleased. So, you're wanting to do Festen?"

I (humbly): "yes please."

She: "well, we are looking at a West End revival later this year."

I: "of course. It's its tenth anniversary this year (thank you, David Eldridge on twitter). Of course you'd want to. It's a cracking play." (Holding my breath.)

She: "but of course that doesn't stop us doing other productions."

I: "that would be really wonderful."

She: "oh yes, some of the best productions I've seen have been amateur (I: shudder). I often think they find the truth of a story where the professionals miss it."

I: mute

She: "so tell me about yourself, anyway."

I: (shit. Panic. Not prepared. Not expecting to have to account for myself.)

She: waits

I: (foolishly) "well, I work for an advertising agency."

She: (doesn't seem to be what she wants to hear)

I: "I live in Edinburgh. Our theatre group, we're sixty years old this year so we thought this would be a really great way to commemorate that (POST-RATIONALISING) given the birthday party in the...." (voice tails off)

She: "and is this the first thing you've directed?"

I: "oh no. We do four shows a year. (List stuff that's cool.) We're doing August: Osage County next. We're doing (full title of) Dissocia in the Fringe festival."

She: noises of encouragement. She likes these plays.

I: "I've done all sorts before. (What would she like?) Abi Morgan. (Is that really the first name that comes into your head, Claire?) Mark Ravenhill. Sarah Kane."

She: "oh my goodness, what beautiful work." (Breakthrough.) "Did you do the Psychosis?"

I: (RESULT) "Oh yes. I love the language in that"

She: "the poetry. Quite wonderful. Such richness. So sad that she"

I: "so sad that she"

She: "well, I'll send you the details of the person you need to get in touch with. Give me your email address."

I: give her my email address. Some confusion around the spelling.

She: "well I will send you those details. And do you know, I don't know what your budgets are like but I always like to come and see my productions so if your budget can run to it and if I could come and see it when it's on, I would really love that."

Oh. Wow. Me too.

Done.