I'm in London for a couple of days so of course I've come to the theatre.

Once which is a musical that John Tiffany directed that transferred to Broadway, did stupendously well, won loads of Tonys and is now back in London. I've wished to see it for ages so I'm very excited.

I clambered up the steps to the highest reaches of the theatre and at the top the very top, there's John T, standing there chatting busily on the phone.

Forgetting that he doesn't actually know that he and I are dear friends, I give him a creepily broad grin. He frowns slightly into his phone.

I remember sharply and cruelly that we're only friends in my head. And lurch forward into the dark and welcoming bosom of my heartland.