I'm finding it really interesting sitting on the other side of the fence for this whole process. Totting them up, I've directed three shows since I last acted in one. And I wonder if everyone should be forced to do both to learn sympathy with each. Or whether that would just be a recipe for disaster.
Anyway, the first thing that is striking me like a giant sledge-like hammer is just how self-centredly you approach a play when you're acting it. Although I'm mindful that this is maybe just me. But I find I analyse to death, picking and picking over, every little thing I have done. But pay very little attention to what others actually do, unless they're outrageously wrong with that.
I realise as I say this that actually, I'm barely on stage with anyone but Matt. And he, as I have possibly said before, is disconcertingly professional in his consistency. But I worry when I know I haven't looked in the right direction, when I teeter on my heels, when - as I invariably do - I hunch my shoulders (bad bad girl) when I fall off the rostra at the end of a scene in the blue-out (clumsy clumsy girl), when I forget (as has now happened twice) a vital kiss and so the list goes on. I wonder if I will ever achieve a perfect (technically at least!) performance.
But where did this terrible self-centred-ness come from? I'm sure I didn't used to be like this. I guess the kind answer is the actor must think about the detail and the director, the whole. But how have I slipped so easily into the detail obsessed to the point that I can barely see the bigger picture?
Of course the counterside to this - which I'm loving incidentally - is the glorious lack of responsibility. Beyond remembering all the aforementioned points. And my lines of course. So you don't have to be everywhere for everybody seeing everything that happens on stage while simultaneously observing set, lights, sound. That's kinda nice. And you don't need to clock watch like a maniac and grump at people when they don't appear to be following instructions. And you don't have to bear the weighty burden of whether the casting and the concept actually work.
As to which I prefer, I shall reserve judgement til Sunday.
Anyway, the first thing that is striking me like a giant sledge-like hammer is just how self-centredly you approach a play when you're acting it. Although I'm mindful that this is maybe just me. But I find I analyse to death, picking and picking over, every little thing I have done. But pay very little attention to what others actually do, unless they're outrageously wrong with that.
I realise as I say this that actually, I'm barely on stage with anyone but Matt. And he, as I have possibly said before, is disconcertingly professional in his consistency. But I worry when I know I haven't looked in the right direction, when I teeter on my heels, when - as I invariably do - I hunch my shoulders (bad bad girl) when I fall off the rostra at the end of a scene in the blue-out (clumsy clumsy girl), when I forget (as has now happened twice) a vital kiss and so the list goes on. I wonder if I will ever achieve a perfect (technically at least!) performance.
But where did this terrible self-centred-ness come from? I'm sure I didn't used to be like this. I guess the kind answer is the actor must think about the detail and the director, the whole. But how have I slipped so easily into the detail obsessed to the point that I can barely see the bigger picture?
Of course the counterside to this - which I'm loving incidentally - is the glorious lack of responsibility. Beyond remembering all the aforementioned points. And my lines of course. So you don't have to be everywhere for everybody seeing everything that happens on stage while simultaneously observing set, lights, sound. That's kinda nice. And you don't need to clock watch like a maniac and grump at people when they don't appear to be following instructions. And you don't have to bear the weighty burden of whether the casting and the concept actually work.
As to which I prefer, I shall reserve judgement til Sunday.
posted by Claire at 12:35 am
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