To those of who you've always wondered what I do by way of a day job, to follow is some clarification. One bit of my job is running focus groups to shed light and insight on any business or communications challenge. Yesterday, I happily came into ownership of a fine new digital voice recorder that comes equipped with transcribing software and proudly boasts the ability to churn out perfect renditions of your dictations. You have to teach it to know your voice first so I read it a little from Alice In Wonderland (considerately provided along with a variety of other reading material in case locating any text longer than two sentences is beyond the capabilities of the user).

But perhaps Lewis Carroll did not agree with it. Or perhaps I hadn't read it enough for the little device to know me as a friend. Or perhaps the addition of other Strange Voices confounded the little thing.

For when it set to work laboriously, pain-stakingly, time-consumingly to transcribe yesterday's focus group, this is what the little chap spat out.

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okay cool dude basis just the information and share it through only 18 after it was the unwillingly and a lady who are at a you exactly will I'm so why are you cancelled his very territory and began to the tenancy and why you feel that you think yes me it's because they're all is of changes that he may be wrong and that the images used on a song isn't worth the potential for his next season right okay and that is we set out, the gist of what he was seeing you say that yes and out of that answer okay and will come back again they baptismal mess do you figure out so is it the kind is and then they even if you are the work that you get the necessary video why bother, they pull regular and you are never as you are okay, one is always something you are ways started well are you are and they are are are you all probably something she do a 'school-based or if you want you.are you both you and your solicitor and legal because of the authors of our staff that you people who try to buy a society have a TV after excluding advisers in the long run exactly something like that
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when you are the following the head in a only, and that the home and they are an enemy of mining the written part of your Marathi audits and are the rather than the you you you you you you you are well they are told me you were once a week working age you use at home is no evidence that the unit 800 and they will say something out of that they may say you have the altogether questions, is spent and then asking the right until the company and whether you are are you number on the landing a tax-free quite as only God appearing after a air at the

(Me again.)

And that was only a fraction of it.

Lucky I took notes then, eh?

(Do you think I might submit the above to a publisher and pose as The New Sarah Kane??)