I've seen some bizarre things on the boat / barge in my time.

As far as the shower is concerned, it was a repository for Miranda's costume for two weeks last August. So was scattered with strappy shoes and a scrap of velvet embellished with bottle tops and a plethora of make-up products.

For approx one hour before the show, the doorway was filled with a folding chair and Mr B.S.Neill sitting in his Cap'm's jacket reading Barcelona Plates by Alexei Sayle.

Both of these things came to seem fairly normal after 14 days.

Last night, a new peak of weirdness.

A belated Burns Night for clients on the barge. We had haggis and - well of course we did. All the usual trappings. And then we had to tidy away the residue to make way for the truckles of cheese.

I would imagine that anyone reading this has seen the kitchen on the boat. It rivals my own home kitchen for compactness. (Actually, that's a lie. It's about double the size. But still, compact.) There isn't a great deal of space for haggis and vats - tureens sounds nicer - of root vegetables.

Hopelessly, I asked The Man In Charge where I should stow the discarded food. The shower, quoth he.

So from Miranda's make-up to Brian's books to trays full of entrails.

Oh. The things I have seen.